There's something magical about airplane mode.
(✈️Portland bound as I write this piece)
I never log on to the interweb on a plane because it takes away that sacred "disconnected" time I have from the world (and I really just don't want to pay for wifi.) It's during this downtime where I just sit, and think and journal - which is what I'm doing now - except instead of a journal I'm on my iphone using the nifty Evernote app and talking to a large, international audience.
What can I say? I've always been a fan of convenience and I've never been much of a private person.
Anyway, because I find myself amidst my very deep thoughts about air travel, I thought I'd share these pressing matters with you all.
Here are 10 Air Travel Victories
- When airplane attendants are like TV hosts/comedians
- "Thank you everyone for joining us on our flight to Austin." What the hell - I'm headed to Portland. "Just wanted to see who was paying attention! Someone just told me we are headed to Portland. Must've gotten the flights mixed. Oops!" Oh you little minx. You got me. I was all "Oh, crap," and then I was like, "Oh you're funny." You got me, you got me good.
- "Excuse me sir, is it okay to use the restrooms now?" "Never, you have to wait three hours. Just kidding, let me check!" Returns with a bottle of water and a cup and begins pouring slowly in front of you, "Oh, does this make it worse?" Laughs, "You may use the restrooms now," then he proceeds to walk into the restroom and close the door and you're just standing there with an awkward, anxious smile on your face. He pops open the door laughing, "Oh, just kidding!" Oh, just about to pee my pants, but well worth it Adam from Southwest!
2. When the airplane isn't full.
I may be 5'2" but I enjoy my elbow room just as much as anyone else does. I also can practically lie horizontal with just two airplane seats. One of the few perks to being a shorty (often confused with *shawty which signifies a "homie" "amigo" or "pal".)
3. When you get in on gossip.
And you realize you're not that messed up after all. (Huge ego booster for me folks.)
4. When your flight attendant just gets you.
Yes, another Caberneit please. And thank you! They're from Steve Madden.💁
5. When you're boarding an airline with no assigned seating and you score a window seat.
Some may opt for aisle, but I love looking out the windows. I just like to torture myself wondering what it would be like to bounce on the clouds even though I do understand they don't hold the same texture as cotton candy. (A fact I can respect, but one I do not like.)
6. When you get to fly Southwest or Virgin.
I really appreciate the hearts on the stir sticks from Southwest and I do feel MVP flying on Virgin with the purple aisle lighting while watching that edgy, choreographed musical, safety instructional video.
7. If you're single and you meet a guy that ends up being you're husband.
I mean, that'd be a huge victory. And if you're already buckled down to someone it's called role play folks.
8. When you sit next to an elderly couple that holds hands.
And then they partake their life long wisdom on you as you stare wide-eyed with twinkles in your eyes.
9. When you planned accordingly and don't need to go to the bathroom at all.
Water is for the weak. (Jk stay hydrated always when traveling folks! Except if you're "A,B,E or F" with a tiny bladder that needs to keep interrupting "C" and "D".)
10. When you're connecting and your flight is on time.
That's all I ask airlines. That's all I really ask for because I'm short and have asthma and care about what people think of me as I'm sprinting from one gate to another, wheezing with hair frazzled. Adorable, aren't I?
Any other air travel victories? And I want to know, did you meet your significant other on an airplane? Comment below!
The Coffee Nomad
Ps. I'd like to give credit to Cartel Coffee's espresso shot at Gate C in the Phoenix airport for this post on an early morning flight.